Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Alex Rodriguez Suicide Watch

so today is my last day of work in the insurance industry before i retire (seriously), so why not burn out by doing a trifle bit of blogging?

right, then. if i were a close friend of alex rodriguez, my name would be Madonna. and as Madonna, i would make sure to keep alex away from razor blades, sleeping pills, and nooses, because a man can only take so much abuse before he gives in and kicks the chair. it's not that he's going to scan Lupica's article here (which, like all of Lupica's articles, reads like a fifth grader's book report, except without shitty hand-drawn pictures of the characters), polish a pistol, and swallow a bullet. i hope he's learned to insulate himself from the media since his move to the Bronx. i mean, clearly the man knows how to handle himself with aplomb whilst in the camera's eye (joking), so i can only imagine he's not riding home on the subway reading the Daily News. (actually, can't you just imagine A-rod going home, asking his butler for a grape popsicle and today's issues of the tabloids, laying belly down on a canopy bed fretting over the stories about himself? kind of like a 13-year old girl reading about the Jonas brothers, only a lot more whining and squealing.)

seriously though - i'm sure A-Rod ignores the tabloids. but how do you ignore 55,058 jerks booing you mercilessly while just 25 feet to your left stands a man insulated from any sort of adversity, despite the fact he is OPS+'ing 56 points lower than you, isn't banging hot shemale strippers, and has "Sanderson" for a middle name? sure, A-Rod gets paid the most, says the dumbest things, and has that annoying "best player in the game and maybe in history" collar around his neck, but i'm sure he's asking himself every single day of his life, "is it really fucking worth it?"

i genuinely feel sorry for the man.

Who Will Hit MLB's 250,000th Home Run?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Red Sox vs. Yankees, August 26, 2008 *LIVE BLOG*

It is I, liveblogger extraordinaire Smarty Barrett, here to bring you the first game of this key 3-game series in the Bronx. Last series at Yankee Stadium, blah blah blah. Let's have a look-see at these lineups:

Red Sox
1. Jacoby Ellsbury RF
2. Dustin Pedroia 2B
3. David Ortiz DH
4. Kevin Youkilis 3B
5. Jason Bay LF
6. Jed Lowrie SS
7. Coco Crisp CF
8. Jeff Bailey 1B
9. Kevin Cash C

P Tim Wakefield

1. Johnny Damon CF
2. Derek Jeter SS
3. Bobby Abreu RF
4. Alex Rodriguez 3B
5. Jason Giambi 1B
6. Xavier Nady LF
7. Hideki Matsui DH
8. Robinson Cano 2B
9. Jose Molina C

P Andy Pettitte

Amelie Benjamin and Heidi Watney are talking. I am not paying attention to a word they are saying and I don't care. Man, this is great TV. Earlier Eck and TC were talking about the 2003 ALCS for some reason. Yankee Stadium history! Folklore! Momument Park! Toilet-shaped! Some real news now, apparently Lowell is ready to come back. F'n awesome. Jeff Bailey is starting at 1B tonight...that's all you need to know about how bad this team needs Mike L. No offense, JB. And NESN opens with a bit of a Sox/Yankees at Yankee Stadium montage, backed by some Godsmack. Interesting choice. And we're about to go here, so let me throw out a prediction - I like the Yanks to win this one, unfortunately, my guess is 7-3. I like J-Bay to go deep though. Let's roll.

Top 1
Here's Jacoby to lead it off against Andy Little. And he's quickly down 0-2. And then he grounds out to Cano, 1 down. Your 3rd base ump tonight is Fieldin Culbreth. What a great name. Here's Pedroia. And he taps a little check-swing roller to Giambi who takes it to the bag himself, 2 down. Now Papi. And some close pitches called balls and Ortiz draws a walk. One on, two out, and here's Youk. More close pitches being called balls - I like it but I don't know if it bodes well for Wake and the knuckler. 3-0 count to KY. And Pettitte works it to full, Ortiz will be rumbling from first on the pitch. Ball four! Two on now, with two outs, and here's my boy J-Bay. And he works a full count, runners will be off from 1st and 2nd...and Bay flies to right and Pettitte escapes, no score going to the bottom of the first.

Bottom 1
Wakefield is fresh off the DL and ready to face Johnny Damon. And he greets him with a homer, 1-0 Yankees. A little flare down the RF line that curled around the pole. Here we go. The Lord Christ Almighty is up now, and he grounds out to Youk at 3rd, one gone. Here's Abreu, and he quickly grounds to Pedroia, two down. Now for Mr. Madonna. And Wakey gets him looking, so he settles in nicely after the Damon tater, 1-0 Yankees after one.

Top 2
The SS of the future leads it off against Pettitte. And Lowrie strikes out looking. Coco at the dish now. And he hits a soft liner to right, Abreu comes in and grabs it, quickly two outs once again. Coco may have broken his bat on that one. Tiger Woods is in the house. Now Bailey. And he hits a soft roller down the 3B line and he reaches on the IF single. Almost a swinging bunt right there. Cash Money stands in now, runner at first and two down. And ouch, Cash just fouled one off Molina's shoulder and he's down. He looks to be OK though. Cash hits a roller down to 3rd, very similar to Bailey's. A-Rod charges, bobbles, and everyone is safe. That will probably go as another infield hit. And once again, the Sox have runners at first and second and two down for Jacoby. And he slaps one down the LF line for a base hit, here comes Bailey and we're tied at 1. That's how you hit with two down! And Pedroia quickly rips one down to 3rd, A-Rod fields the hot shot and touches the bag, inning over. Jacoby and the Sox tie it though, 1-1, headed for the bottom of the 2nd.

Bottom 2
Giambi leading it off here, and he grounds one right at Wakefield, he makes the play, one gone. Now Nady, and he hits a soft pop-up to first, Bailey makes the catch in foul ground and there's quickly two down. Matsui at the dish, and he grounds a single into right, one on with two outs for one of the worst hitters in baseball. Wake is ahead of him 1-2 here, but Cano rips a single up the middle, and my jinx sticks with me. Now the Yanks threatening with two on and two out. Here's one of the 73 Molina brothers. Jose rips a single up the middle, and that's going to score Matsui, Yanks back on top 2-1. Friggin' Wakefield. Can you hold 'em for once? Now Damon. 3-run homer, perhaps? Nope, a harmless grounder to 2nd, Pedroia makes the play and the 2nd is over, but not before Wakefield gives a run right back, 2-1 Yankees.

Top 3
Ortiz leads off here in the third. He quickly works the count to 3-1 and then rips one into the centerfield gap. Ortiz chugs into second with a leadoff double. Youk now, and Pettitte is already at 50 pitches. And now Youk rips one down the right field line, fair, into the corner, tie ballgame. Ortiz scores and it's 2-2. Double for Youk. And here's J-Bay. And he rolls one up the middle for a single that will score Youkilis, Sox on top 3-2! Hell yeah. Pettitte starting to get slapped around here now, and he is throwing a ton of pitches. Lowrie at the dish now, still no outs here. He makes Pettitte throw some more pitches, but then grounds into a DP, Cano unassisted to first, and there's quickly two down. Coco trying to keep the inning going now. But instead he goes down looking on three pitches, inning over. But the Sox get two and they lead 3-2 going to the bottom of the 3rd.

Bottom 3
Can Wake hold this? Let's find out. The greatest player to ever put on a baseball uniform pops to second for the first out. Abreu now, and he rips one up the middle, out of the reach of Lowrie for a hit. Man, every hit Wake is giving up is going straight into center. Remy says "Abreu can run, he has 14 steals but he's been caught 10 times." I would disagree, Rem Dawg. I would say that is someone who can't run. A-Rod now hits a roller to short, Lowrie moving towards third gloves, to 2nd for one, and to first! Double play! Inning over! Nasty play, 3-2 Sox after 3.

Top 4
Bailey, Cash and Jacoby in the 4th. This trio led to the first run, so let's see what they can do here. Bailey works a full count (more pitches!) but then grounds to 2nd for out number one. Cash Money stands in, and Pettitte walks him on four pitches. Man, there is no way Andy is going to make it to the 6th, Sox are really working him here. Jacoby now, one on, one out. Pettitte falls behind 2-1 and he is not happy with the home plate ump. And now Andy gets Ellsbury looking on a pitch that looked WAY outside. Jeez, if all you need to do is whine to get some calls, then I suggest the Sox get on it. Cash still at first with two outs now, and Pedroia up. He grounds one to A-Rod who charges. gloves, and throws out Dustin. Side retired, headed to the bottom of the 4th, still 3-2 Sox.

Bottom 4
Pettitte's at 78 pitches through four. Whew. Maybe he will make it to the 6th, but not much farther. Sox aren't making this easy for him. Giambi leads off, and he flies to Ellsbury in right, one down. Nady up now, and he draws a one-out walk. Here's Matsui and he cranks one too deep right...but not deep enough. Ellsbury makes the catch in front of the wall, two outs. And now Cano grounds one to second, Pedroia makes the play, and we're done with four, still 3-2 Sox.

Top 5
Ortiz leading off here, and Pettitte throws his 80th pitch for ball one to Ortiz, 1-1 is the count. Now Ortiz cranks the 81st pitch to deep right, but Abreu grabs it right in front of the W.B. Mason sign, one loud out. Now Youkilis. And he grounds Pettitte's 86th pitch to short, two outs. J-Bay up here, and I'm still waiting for him to go deep. Pettitte is going to hit 90 pitches here. And Bay ground pitch number 91 into center for a base hit. One on, two outs. Will he hit 100 pitches in the 5th? I'd love to see it. Lowrie here, and he rolls pitch number 93 into right field for another base hit! Bay stops at 2nd, and more 2 out baserunners for the Sox. Here's Coco with two on and two out. Here comes pitch 96, and it's way inside, almost hits Coco. 2-1 count. And Coco loops one to right, it falls in for a hit! Bay scores, Lowrie heads for 3rd, he's safe, and it's 4-2 Sox! Hell yeah, Coco! Now Bailey up, and Coco steals second on the first pitch. Molina threw down even with two outs, but Lowrie stayed put at 3rd. Now two in scoring position for Bailey. Brian Bruney up in the Yankee pen. And you bet Pettitte will hit 100 pitches, here comes pitch 101. And Bailey rips one down the third-base line, it hits the bag and goes right to A-Rod, he throws to first from foul ground...and Bailey is safe! And TWO runs score! Coco in from second and it's 6-2 Sox! That'll be it for Pettitte, here comes Bruney. Pitching change coming at you, and the Sox have broken it open! Here's Cash to face Bruney, and he rips one to 3rd, A-Rod gloves and whips it to 1st for the out. But a big inning here in the 5th has the Sox on top 6-2.

Bottom 5
Now Wakey has a 4-run lead to work with. Molina leads off, and he flies to center for the first out. Here's Damon. And Johnny pops one down the right-field line again, and it's gone AGAIN! It's now 6-3 Sox. Another home run, almost the exact same spot, about as short as you can hit a ball in this dump and have it go out. And now Jeter singles to left and I'm reminded that no lead is safe with Tim Wakefield on the hill. One on, one out, one in, and here's Abreu. And now HE singles to left! Wakefield is so eager to give this back, jeez. Now A-Rod, the tying run and it could very easily be 6-6 very soon. Javier Lopez getting loose for the Sox. And Wakefield battles A-Rod and finally gets him to fly to center, two outs. And boos rain down on A-Rod. Here's Giambi, this is a crucial AB - get this guy, Wakey. And he does - Giambi flies to center, Coco grabs it, and my heart resumes beating. 6-3 Sox after 5.

Top 6
Bruney dealing with the top of the order now. Ellsbury flies to center for the first out, and here's Pedroia. He really works Bruney and gets a walk out of it, one on with one out. Lopez continuing to throw, and it looks like he'll pitch the bottom of the 6th. Ortiz up. He works a walk on a very close pitch. And here's Girardi to the mound. I've never seen a manager to the mound this much in non-pitching changes. Do these guys have a pitching coach? First and second one down for Youkilis. And now HE walks! Bruney is handing out the bases-on-balls, sacks drunk with one out for J-Bay. Bring me that homer, Bay! Big swing, but a deep fly to left. Nady grabs it, Pedroia tags, and a sac fly for Bay makes it 7-3. Now Lowrie works a long AB that ends with a fly to center. We're going to the bottom of the 6th, 7-3 Sox.

Bottom 6
I assume we'll be seeing Lopez here. We do, and he'll face Nady first, who flies to center for the first out. Matsui up now, and he breaks his bat and grounds out to Pedroia for the 2nd out. Wow, this game has slowed down a lot. Wake and Andy were working quickly, now it's just dragging. And Cano strikes out, loses his bat and it ends up in the Hudson River somewhere. Jeez. Inning over, nice clean work from Lopez, and we're done with 6, 7-3 Sox.

Top 7
New pitcher on for the Yanks, whom I have never heard of. David Robertson? Well, here he goes, dealing with Coco, and he tries to bunt but it rolls foul. And now he slaps an 0-2 pitch to right for a base hit. Here's Jeff Bailey, and we may see Coco steal here. He doesn't as Bailey strikes out looking, one out. Cash Money up now. Snap throw to first and Crisp is just back. Giambi missed the tag, looks like. This guy Robertson has a pretty sick curve, and he gets Cash on a check swing, two outs. And now Coco goes with Ellsbury up, and Molina gets him for out number three. That's it for the top of the 7th..stretch time! 7-3 Sox.

Bottom 7
Changes for the Sox: Cora in at SS, Lowrie moves from SS to 3B, and Youk moves from 3B to 1B. Cora will hit in Bailey's spot. And Manny Delcarmen in to pitch for the Sox. Molina due up, but Pudge Rodriguez, aka The Incredible Shrinking Man will hit. Masterson and Okajima getting loose behind MDC. I like this bullpen rotation they're using tonight. And MDC gets Pudge swinging. Here's Damon, and here's the Delcarmen I know, as he walks Johnny on 4 pitches. Bow your heads in his presence, here's Jeter set to will his team to victory. And he singles to right, Damon up to second, first and second one out for Abreu. We may be seeing Masterson and/or Okajima very soon. Ball one. This is the Manny Delcarmen experience folks - fasten seatbelts. 2-0. Abreu fouls one off and it's 2-1. Another foul and the count is even at two. Come on, MDC! And Delcarmen bounces one in for ball three, full count. The 3-2...and first Cash wants time to talk to his pitcher. And ball four is in the dirt, bases loaded, and Delcamen is done. Pathetic. Pitching change coming at you, here comes Masterson. I don't get Delcarmen, if he can't get outs, why is he on this team? Well, here we go, bases loaded, one out, 7-3 Sox, bottom 7, A-Rod at the plate. Strike one. And now a hard grounder to short. Cora gloves, touches second, on to first! BOOS RAIN DOWN! Double play-Rod strikes again! 7-3 Sox, bring on the 8th!

Top 8
Here's Ellsbury, who pops one to shallow right, Cano makes the catch rather lazily, one out. Pudge stays in to catch, your new pitcher is Edwar Ramirez. Your batter is Dustin Pedroia, and he grounds to A-Rod. The boos are loud and often as soon as he touches the ball. His throw to first is booed, booed louder, and booed some more. Two outs. Now Ortiz rips one down the right field line for a two-out double. And Girardi will put Youk on intentionally and face Bay with two on. Now Bay rips one to third. A-Rod bobbles, boots, throws to first and Giambi can't handle it. Remy thinks it should be a hit and I agree. But they assess the error. The booing is just incessant now. Bases loaded, two down for Lowrie. And he lines one right at Cano for out number three. A-Rod better hope he doesn't get another AB in this one; 7-3 Sox.

Bottom 8
Masterson only threw two pitches, my guess is he'll be back out there with Oki and Paps getting ready behind him. And it is Masterson, and he falls behind Giambi 3-0. And it is Oki and Paps behind him. I will be happy to manage your little league team. Giambi grounds one into the shift, but Pedroia boots it and Giambi is safe on the E4. Now Nady singles to left, and there's two on with no outs and here comes Tito. Okajima coming in. And he'll deal with Matsui first. Works the count to 2-2, and Oki is working him away, away, away. Full count now. And Oki gets him looking! Sick pitch! One down. Cano at the dish now, still first and second but now one out. Oki ahead one and two, and they gotta know that Cano will occasionally swing at a bad pitch. And now another full count. And Oki induces the pop-up...Pedroia under it, and there's two down. And Papelbon is going to get four outs. Nice job for Oki, were you taking notes Delcarmen? 7-3 Sox, and it's Pap time with two outs in the eighth. And here's a 5'4" catcher, and one pitch, a grounder to Papelbon and that will do it! Not a good night to be a Rodriguez. 7-3 Sox going to the 9th.

Top 9
The portly Chris Britton is on to pitch for the Yankees, and Coco greets him with a bloop single to right. Now Cora's first AB, and Remy wonders if they would bunt here. I'm not a big bunting person, but this doesn't seem like a bad time for one. But they don't and Cora flies out to right for the first out. Here's Cash Money. And he singles to left, two on with one out. Jacoby stands in, and Britton gets him looking for out number two. Here's Pedroia, oddly enough the only Sox starter without a hit tonight. And he rips one, but right at A-Rod and he catches the liner for the out. Time for Papelbon to close this one out, still 7-3 Sox.

Bottom 9
Top of the order vs. Paps. Damon leads off, and Papelbon quickly gets him swinging. Owned. Here's God. And he grounds one to Lowrie at 3rd and he boots it, stays with it and throws, but it is way too late and Jeter clutchly reaches on an E5. Let's see A-Rod do THAT. Actually, with that bobble it becomes very likely that we will see A-Rod in the 9th. How awesome would it be if he made the last out? Either way, he is going to hear it and hear it bad when he comes up. Or he may not - grounder to 2nd, Pedroia to Cora to Youk... but Abreu beats it. So two down for Boo-Rod, who is booed. Good news for him is he can't hit into the double-play here. And it's now 1-2 to A-Rod. Oh man a K would be sweet. The sad thing is if he homers here, they will talk about how it was a completely meaningless hit. But he K's! And this one's over! 0-5 night for disgrace-Rod and the Red Sox take this one 7-3. Good clean strong win, and a BIG win. I can breathe easier for the rest of the series now, cuz we ain't gettin' swept. Yankees season may very well be over. I'm greedy now and I want the Sox to go for the jugular.

Goodnight, everyone!

Straight Flush

So a lot is being made in the local and national media concerning this upcoming series between the Sox and Yankees. The recurring storyline highlights the fact that this is the Red Sox last regular season series in the boogey-down Bronx. I just don't get why everyone, especially around here, is getting all sentimental about Yankee Stadium, aka America's largest outdoor urinal. The place is a dump - I say the sooner they blow it up, the better. You won't see us here at the Ejected Fan doing any foolish tributes or regaling you with nonsensical anecdotes. Save that for your grandma's blog.

That said, this upcoming series is a huge one in terms of playoff implications. The Red Sox have the chance to bury the Yankees for good, and have us get a head start on planning our Yankee elimination parties. Most Yankee blogs I have read think the Yankees need to sweep this series to keep their post-season hopes alive. I can't say I disagree.

Here at the Ejected Fan we tend to get a little fired up for Sox/Yankees showdowns, and this series is no different. So in honor of that, yours truly will be live-blogging tonight's game, and possibly tomorrow night's as well. So if you're looking for a solid breakdown of the action complete with passion, humor, and plenty of swearing, check it out. SB has you covered. And don't be afraid to let me have it in the comments or via email:

See you tonight!

Carl Pavano: Worst Yankee Signing Ever?

....This was one of those rare times when Carl Pavano actually threw a pitch in a Yankee uniform last week. The Ejected Fan remembers wishing and hoping during the 2004 off-season that somehow this New Britain, Connecticut native would again be wearing the Red Sox laundry. Thankfully for the Red Sox sake this did not happen. Pavano was drafted by the Sox back in '94 and was part of the deal that brought Pedro to Boston. As a Yankee, Pavano has been plagued by injury since his debut in 2005. Pavano had a shoulder injury in '05, a bruised buttocks and broken ribs in '06 and then Tommy John elbow surgery in '07. Since '05, Pavano has started a total of 20 games with the Yankees, the majority coming in the '05 season. Saturday was the first start since April of 2007. During Spring Training of '07, Yankee pitcher Mike Mussina even questioned Pavano's dedication to the Yankees. Mussina wondered if everything was just coincidence. In December of '07 Yankee managment offered Pavano a minor league contract which his agent refused.
The Ejected Fan has run some numbers on Pavano. As a Yankee, Pavano has earned an estimated $5,980,769 per win, an estimated $1,794, 230 per start and an estimated $552,071 per strikeout.
The Yankee website The Jason Giambi Mustache Squad, which sponsors Pavano's Baseball Reference page states," Carl Pavano is to the Yankees as the movie Ghost Dad is to American cinema. Not even a mustache could save that guy." I don't remember too much about Ghost Dad, but I do remember Bill Cosby was in it...
Even if Pavano morphs into Sandy Koufax for the remainder of the season, the Yankees have very little shot of making the playoffs. I hope the preceding statement does not in anyway jinx that likelihood. As a Red Sox fan, I just want to thank embedded Red Sock Carl Pavano for his many years of service as a Yankee.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Chex Mix, Matt Ryan, and more in the Mass Hysteria fantasy football draft

So Thursday night was the inaugural draft for the Mass Hysteria fantasy football league.  The league consists of the four regular bloggers on the site, myself, and several other regular commenters and other bloggers from around the interwebs.  The decision was made to do the league on Yahoo!, and as a veteran of Yahoo! Fantasy leagues, I noticed a few changes.  First, the incredible whoring of Chex Mix ALL OVER the draft window. Add to that the dramatic countdown leading up to the first pick, complete with numbers in 252 pt. font enveloping the screen and it bordered on ridiculous. But the draft itself was a blast. The highlight for me was drafting Matt Ryan, much to the chagrin of our own Hazel Mae's Landing Strip. As you may or may not know, his man-love for Matty R. knows no bounds. I knew I was going to have to strike at just the right time if I were to land him, and I did.

Here's the final roster for my team, and I look forward to representing the Ejected Fan well in this league:

Osi Human Urine
(yes that is my team name, and yes I did hear about this. Take that, fucker.)

QB Tom Brady
RB Larry Johnson
RB Reggie Bush
WR Chad Johnson
WR Dwayne Bowe
WR Donte' Stallworth
TE Vernon Davis
K Josh Scobee
DEF Philadelphia

QB Matt Ryan
RB Deuce McAllister
RB Rashard Mendenhall
WR Kevin Curtis
TE Tony Scheffler

Let's get it on.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Semi-irregular Jon Lester First Ballot Hall of Fame Update

Jon Lester's record as of Aug. 22nd: 12-4

Probability that Lester is elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame on the first ballot: 6%

This means there is a 6% chance of the Ejected Fan doing incalculable damage to my groin area. If that indeed happens, I propose to my fellow bloggers that we hire this boy to recap the action:

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Jason Varitek and Heidi Watney?

in case you're wondering, that's Heidi Watney in the Wally getup, and they're reading the Kama Sutra.

could the rumors be true? since everyone keeps ending up here in an attempt for verification, i guess we'll address at least the possibility. From

Sox catcher Jason Varitek (above) is splitting with his wife, Karen. The team captain filed for divorce July 28 in Gwinnett County, Ga., where the couple live in the offseason. They were married in 1997 and have three daughters, ages 8, 6, and 3. Varitek is in the final year of a four-year, $40-million contract he signed after the BoSox won the World Series in 2004.

now, i'm not entirely sure how much NESN is paying Heidi Watney to do her Erin Andrews impression in the bleachers at Fenway, but i bet it's not 1% of what an aging goateed catcher with a swiss cheese bat is making these days.

Chupacabra versus Bigfoot **UPDATE** BIGFOOT HOAX?

As an avid viewer of Monster Quest, Ejected Fan has come across some "Monster" updates this week. Apparently, a body of the legendary Bigfoot has been found this week. The website has been overloaded with hits. In addition there is video footage of a Chupacabra making news this week. Personally, I think the Bigfoot finding, if real, is a much more signifcant find because of the evolutionary significance to humans.

I pose the question to readers: Which finding is more significant?
**UPDATE** It appears from the Bigfoot press conference on friday that the bigfoot finding was a hoax.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

And honestly, he'll appreciate the kind of straight-forward manner in which you told him your decision.

So in my daily visit to my semi-new favorite Boston-area sports blog Mass Hysteria, I read one of their daily features (written by friend HzMLS) and he essentially predicted a Rays downfall after the injuries to both Evan Longoria and Carl Crawford. I posted a comment on the blog, and because I felt like it was misinterpreted, dubbschism and I discussed via email:

Smarty Barrett: My point wasn't the Pythagorean record, my point was that bloggers, pundits and others are going to predict a slide for the Rays because of the loss of Crawford and Longoria, but the fact is a slide was inevitable anyway. i.e. a slip in their record and a slip in the standings would have occurred regardless (and independent) of any injuries. So when they start to slip, injuries will be cited, but the fact of the matter is that any decline will not be 100% due to the loss of 2 stars.

dubbschism: yes. i agree for the most part, however, we're approaching the point in the season where the pythag is less and less meaningful as far as predicting the actual final standings go, since there's not a lot of time for the records to correct themselves. it's more useful at this point as far as predicting theoretical standings, but there's only about 40 games left. make sense? it's entirely possible that their run differential over the next 40 games would match up with their record thus far, esp with the addition of baldelli, but it's much more unlikely now that two of their better players are gone.

SB: I agree. We should have already started to see a regression towards the mean in all cases for all teams - Pythag record is not always correct, mostly because of luck in one-run games and such. I feel that it does tell us how good a team actually is - example: the 2007 Mariners finished with a 88-74 record, but their pythag was 80-82. That team was not that good.

The point I was trying to make is that, in theory, the Rays run differential could maintain the same pace it has throughout the season and they would still slip in the standings. Citing injuries to explain their decline would not be telling the whole story. The larger point is predicting a slide for the Rays now is easy, but would they have slid without the injuries? I say yes but we'll never know now. And Sox fans are all excited that they have some key players hurt now and if the Sox do come back and win the division, Longoria and Crawford's injuries will be cited. I just don't think simply saying 2 guys got hurt is a sufficient explanation. Picking the Rays to falter now is easy. Picking them to falter two weeks ago, as I did, would not have been "popular."

My mom says I'm a catch.

DS: well when you see Evan Baseball Hero in the hospital, tell him he played a great game. Tell him you liked his article in the newspaper.

his WARP is 6.5. willy aybar's is .8. over the rest of the season, that's about 2 wins. which could be significant.

SB: So you're saying it could cost them a win at least every two weeks? Once every two weeks?

It could be significant. But if the Red Sox win the division by four games, then I will cite run differential and not Longoria's injury.

DS: well let's put it this way: given current run diffs, we'd expect the rays to go 25-20 the rest of the way. (with Longoria.) we'd expect the sox to go 25-18. as it currently stands, that's not enough to make up the 4 games. but, if Longoria disappears, suddenly the rays go 23-22...and bingo, Dino DNA. a 3-game difference.

SB: But if you use log5 to break down the Rays remaining games, they're more likely to go 23-22 anyway, and that was factored in before the loss of Longoria and Crawford. So just beware, when John Kruk tells you why the Rays are losing games, don't believe him.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Semi-Irregular Miguel Tejada Home Run Update

today's date: 08/08/08
Miggy's current HR total: 11
Miggy's projected HR total, should he keep up this pace: 16
probability that the ejected fan wins my $20, unscrupulously puts it in a Roth IRA with hopes of the principal maturing into the approximately $6,000* it would cost him for reconstructive surgery so as to look like Eddie Vedder, then spends the $6,000 on reconstructive surgery so as to look like Eddie Vedder: 15%
probability that the ejected fan would get recontructive surgery so as to look like Eddie Vedder, if he had the money to spend regardless of Miggy's 2008 HR stats: 97%.

*i calculated this number using a complex algorithm involving costs of various plastics surgeries people have undergone in an effort to emulate their favorite celebrities. the actual cost would be $6,124. it's accurate.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Changing of the guard: 3rd game with new comer Jason Bay in left field. Sox Complete Sweep of A’s

I want to start off by saying that this blog is evolving. Over these summer months, it has become a bit of a chore to sit in front of the computer and recap the events of a particular game. Next year The Ejected Fan will evolve into a more inspired effort. EF will only blog when truly inspired. This will keep things fresh with less of a homework type feel.

By Sunday, the drama of Manny Ramirez had long since run its course like a sort of unavoidable car crash. After the Manny Ramirez demolition derby, the Sox were left with a capable All Star left fielder in Jason Bay. The sentiment among fans was similar to that of the Nomar trade from ’04. Look at what happened to the Sox after that. Bay had already come up big in his first two games on the Sox and would continue that trend today. In the first inning, Bay made a nice throw to second to throw out a runner trying to stretch a single into a double.

Sunday was the ejected fan’s birthday. In honor of EF’s birthday, in a collective effort, Smarty Barrett and Dubbschism purchased Green Monster, Standing Room Tickets for this game. I decided earlier in the week that I would get to the game when the gates open so that I could witness batting practice from atop the green monster. Unfortunately, only the Oakland A’s would take BP today. Frank Thomas is the only formidable hitter on the A’s. He had some real “Monster” jacks during BP. Some balls were crushed over everything. However, the “Big Hurt” would not fare so well in the actual game going 0-4.

Eddie Vedder Fan

I was a bit tired from the previous two days of seeing Eddie Vedder at the Boston Opera House. I hope to have more about these shows in a future blog. I had my EV concert shirt on that I purchased on Friday when I saw another fan on the monster sporting an Evil Knievil Eddie shirt. I asked him if he had gone to the shows and we got to discussing Pearl Jam for the next hour or so. We discussed the fact that Vedder was even responsible for getting Jason Bay to the All Star team in 06. This fan had traveled all the way from California to see these couple shows at the Opera House and was now taking in a game solo from the green monster seats. Few things bring people together like sports and good music...

$160 Monster Seats for $30
Dubbschism, Veruca Salt and Smarty Barrett were extremely late for the game due to their previous 9 inning engagement. Barrett was forced to stand outside the gates of Fenway waiting for Dubb to deliver his ticket. Despite Dubbschism’s crew being extremely late for the game, the Ejected Fan managed to secure front row seats on the green monster for the late comers by digging into the trenches early. The face value of these front rowgreen monster seats is $160. We only paid $30 each for our SRO tickets. How could a sox fan not show up to the game after paying $160 per ticket? It just doesn’t make any sense.

Weather Report
It was interesting weather on Sunday Afternoon. It was a microcosm of the weather we have been experiencing in Boston throughout this summer.. It was a mixture of Sun and puffy cumulus clouds. It was hot atop the monster in the direct sun. By the time the late crew arrived in the fourth inning or so, it started to rain, gradually raining harder and then finally stopping and giving way to a rainbow. Later in the game we would be interrupted by rain again from another quick moving thundershower leading to a 20 minute rain delay. We were quickly ushered off the monster for fear of lightning.

This was the first game in a while that I was completely sober for. Because of the hard sun and having already abused my liver the last couple of nights, I opted for not consuming alcohol today. Not to be like Fun Bobby from Friends, but I felt a bit less inspired and a little less fun going to a ball game without drinking. The Sox completed the sweep of the A’s, but they have an interesting path ahead of them in their quest to reach the playoffs. I will leave you with some random observations and quips from Sunday’s game. Stay tuned for my next blog report which has evolved to encompass some of the places and events (Pearl Jam etc) of my summer vacation.

Random Observations and Quips

A fan is holding a MANNY WHO? Sign

A’s Pitcher, Huston Street should change his name to Hudson Street and then move there

Ejected Fan yells to A’s left fielder and known HGH user Jack Cust, “ Hey, HGH didn’t work for you!”, Followed by “HGH makes you uglier!”

The kid guest announcer pronounces Jed Lowrie as “Jet” Lowrie over the Fenway loudspeaker. Is Jet Lowrie related to George Jetson?

Who needs Oritz and Manny when you have Bay and Lowrie? Bay and Lowrie are the best RBI combination since Gehrig and Ruth.

The Ejected Fan caps off his day by yelling down to Jason Bay, “ Wear your Red Sox Onesie!”