Showing posts with label busy at work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label busy at work. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Fire Joe Morgan. Fire him now. Seriously.


In Joe Morgan's JoeChat™ yesterday, there was the following exchange:
Ryan (Vermont)


How do you feel things will stand at the end of the day in the AL Central?

Joe Morgan
(11:18 AM)


Well, it's not a matter of how they stand at the end of the day today, I think you have to look at the end of the series. The Twins have to win 3 of 4. If they split this series, it will almost be over. It's not going to be easy for the Twins on the road to sweep the Tigers. The Twins, in their ballpark, would have an excellent chance to do so. I just don't see the Twins sweeping the Tigers, so I don't see them winning the division. It's even worse for them if they lose the first game, or lose tomorrow. The Tigers have to win one of the first two games to keep the pressure off themselves. The Twins will face Verlander in the second game. In fact, because they're playing a doubleheader today and in the history of baseball 80% of all doubleheaders have been split.


re-read that last line. "...in the history of baseball, 80% of all doubleheaders have been split."

this is a lie. first of all, from 2002-2008, doubleheaders were split 43.8% of the time. granted, this doesn't cover the same time frame that ol' number-crunching Joe mentioned above. i can't find historical doubleheader data, and don't have the time to comb through 109 year's worth of box scores (ya know, me being a busy working man and all), but here is a little math lesson for you:

for any given team on a long enough time scale, the theoretical probability of sweeping a doubleheader is 25%, winning the first and losing the second is 25%, losing the first and winning the second is 25%, and getting swept is 25%. (unless somehow the team is perenially superior to all other teams in the league, in which case the probability distribution for the yankees would look something like 99%-0.5%-0.5%-0%.) i assure you there is no fallacy in this argument, because we are talking about ALL teams, i.e. the aggregate won-loss percentage is exactly 50% here. so even ignoring the last 7 years (which clearly prove Joe to be a liar), we are talking about a situation that one would expect to see happen 50% of the time (a doubleheader resulting in a split), that Joe claims has actually happened 80% of the time. now again, i don't have historical doubleheader data, so i am going to have to wave my hands a little. since there were 178 doubleheaders in the last 7 years, let's assume there have been 109*178/7 = 2,771 doubleheaders in modern MLB history. (there's actually probably been a lot more, since they were more common back in the day. but keep in mind there used to be only 154 games in the season so this might actually not be too bad an estimate - my gut feeling is that there have been a lot, lot more.) (also, if anything, this underestimate helps Joe, not me, since weirder things - read: 80% of doubleheaders ending in splits - can happen in fewer games.)

so our null hypothesis (i.e. Joe's hypothesis) is thusly: 80% of doubleheaders end in splits. using an n value of 2,771, an x-bar value of .5, and a mu-naught value of .8, i get a z-value of 31.58. (i don't expect you to get this unless you took a statistics class or three. also note that i am taking liberties with conventional symbols, etc.)

31.58. i can't even find an online normal distribution calculator that can give me a precise enough probability of this event actually happening - they all come out to a big, fat, zero.

which is to say this: the probability that over 2,771 doubleheaders, 80% of them would end in a split (when we would expect 50%) is about 0.000000000000000000000001. (give or take a few zeroes.)

there is not a word to describe the reckless, egregious, and sinister claims this man makes week after week on national television and on national internet. he deserves to have his Hall of Fame plaque torn down and melted into computer parts.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

88 mph, suckas.

greetings, internet goers of the past. i am writing to you from the future (mid-October 2009) to inform you that the Sox have won the AL East. this, contrary to reports from the earlier part of the year that a.j. burnett, c.c. sabathia, m.c. teixeriaieria, and (of course) d.s. jeter would lead the jankees to a 160-2 record.

but nay! Las Mediasrojas took the crown by a game over the yankees, who fell flat on their faces in August after alex rodriguez went down with a curious injury. to put it bluntly, one of his balls exploded. take a guess why.

coming soon (i really, really hope), a commentary on ARod's now infamous interview with Peter Gammons. actually, since i am writing to you from the future, i can say with a high level of certainty that i will never get around to doing this.

also, put all your money into Chrysler. right. now. you'll thank me sometime around August.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Alex Rodriguez Suicide Watch


so today is my last day of work in the insurance industry before i retire (seriously), so why not burn out by doing a trifle bit of blogging?

right, then. if i were a close friend of alex rodriguez, my name would be Madonna. and as Madonna, i would make sure to keep alex away from razor blades, sleeping pills, and nooses, because a man can only take so much abuse before he gives in and kicks the chair. it's not that he's going to scan Lupica's article here (which, like all of Lupica's articles, reads like a fifth grader's book report, except without shitty hand-drawn pictures of the characters), polish a pistol, and swallow a bullet. i hope he's learned to insulate himself from the media since his move to the Bronx. i mean, clearly the man knows how to handle himself with aplomb whilst in the camera's eye (joking), so i can only imagine he's not riding home on the subway reading the Daily News. (actually, can't you just imagine A-rod going home, asking his butler for a grape popsicle and today's issues of the tabloids, laying belly down on a canopy bed fretting over the stories about himself? kind of like a 13-year old girl reading about the Jonas brothers, only a lot more whining and squealing.)


seriously though - i'm sure A-Rod ignores the tabloids. but how do you ignore 55,058 jerks booing you mercilessly while just 25 feet to your left stands a man insulated from any sort of adversity, despite the fact he is OPS+'ing 56 points lower than you, isn't banging hot shemale strippers, and has "Sanderson" for a middle name? sure, A-Rod gets paid the most, says the dumbest things, and has that annoying "best player in the game and maybe in history" collar around his neck, but i'm sure he's asking himself every single day of his life, "is it really fucking worth it?"

i genuinely feel sorry for the man.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Trade Deadline Email Thread

(An email exchange this afternoon between myself, Hazel Mae's Landing Strip, and Jenny Cupcakes)

HazelMae'sLandingStrip
(3:15): OH CRAP

http://trades.mlblogs.com/archives/2008/07/rays_to_acquire_bay.html

Smarty Barrett (3:15): :-(

Jenny Cupcakes (3:26): The intern that works in the office next to me was flipping out about that link. He keeps yelling trade news for me since he found out I was looking at it all day.

HzMLS (3:30): If we end up with Matt Kemp instead I am going to go batty.

SB (3:30): Good batty or bad batty? Cuz I haven't really decided how I feel about that yet.

HzMLS (3:31): Bad. I don't want him here.

JC (3:31): He is 23. Greg says "Matt Kemp isn't bad"

SB (3:32): He doesn't walk enough.

SB (3:35): 25 minutes!!!!

HzMLS (3:37): The Red Sox just traded Brandon Moss and Clay Buchholz for Eric Gagne

SB (3:38): LQTMing like crazy.

JC (3:41): I forwarded this to Greg and he was like wait I was just scared for a second.

SB (3:42): So was I, because Outlook pops up these message previews, and the preview was:

"The Red Sox just traded Brandon Moss and Clay Buchholz for..."

JC (3:45): HAHAHA

SB (4:23): Gordon Edes is reporting on NESN that Manny has been traded.
Details will be available shortly.

SB (4:24): boston.com/sports is CRASHED.

SB (4:26): To the Dodgers.

JC (4:29): yeah breaking news just now on nesn.com

HzMLS (4:32): BTW a reason why I don't listen EEI. They are slow as hell with this stuff, I went in the car to do an errand at 12:30 they had just found out about the Griffey Jr trade, when Rosenthal had announced it at like 10.

SB (4:33): I'm listening to them now. They are watching Edes on NESN but not telling us what he's saying.
Jerks.

JC (4:33): Is it really Jason Bay????

HzMLS (4:34): Is he signed through 2009?

SB (4:34): Yes and yes.

HzMLS (4:39): ESPN.com still has no clue...WWL my ass.

SB (4:40): I'm giddy.

HzMLS (4:44): Holy crap, the prospects are Brandon Moss and Craig Hansen.

SB (4:46): DAMIAN Moss.
And Craig Hansen.

HzMLS (4:48): Who the heck is that?

SB (4:49): Now they're saying it's Brandon Moss.


SB (4:52): So you're saying we CAN'T trade a player who's on the Braves?

JC (4:55): This email thread should be a blog...

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