Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Because Mike Lupica is my favorite sports writer.

no, the title of this book is not Mike Lupica by Summer Ball. indeed, it is the other way around. but Mike Lupica is convinced that he is Moses and his Daily News columns are stone tablets, so it's no surprise that his name is the most prominent feature on many of his books.

from his latest:
The Yankees survived what would have been their worst loss of the season Monday, survived by a 13-9 score against a Tigers team they led 11-2 after three innings. They survived because Brian Bruney got Miguel Cabrera out with two men on and one out when the Tigers were on their way back, and because Derek Jeter got a two-out, two-RBI hit in the sixth when it was 11-9.
now, the box score from the game in question is right here. but you don't even have to click to get the point i'm about to make, because Lupica put it right into his own article - "...and because Derek Jeter got a two-out, two-RBI hit in the sixth when it was 11-9." the final score of this game was 13-9 which, of course, renders jeter's two-out, two-RBI hit in the sixth completely meaningless. seriously, jeter was just praised by Lupica for a superfluous single. he attributed the yankee win (in part) to that very hit, despite the fact that if cap'n intangibles had his left eye (his hitting eye) impaled by a Placido Polanco maple bat shard whilst ranging far to the right on (and subsequently missing) a ground ball in the 5th inning and he had to be air-lifted to the Mass Eye and Ear Infirmary at MGH to get a new eye grown from George Steinbrenner's stem cells and therefore missed the next three innings but was back in time for the 9th and was re-inserted into the game via an ad hoc change to MLB's offical rulebook informally known as "the jeter rule" but it was too late because his spot in the order didn't come up in the 9th inning anyway, the yankees still would have won.

meanwhile, you get 20,800 (about) results if you google "a rod home run meaningless." because he is an ass who only hits homers when his team is either down by a margin his homerun cannot single-handedly erase or they are already winning. in both situations, of course, his home run is meaningless. but jeter is commended for putting up such production.

peace out, fuckers. i'm moving to Banladesh where shit like this doesn't happen.

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