Monday, May 5, 2008

And what's this? He's pointing to the right-field bleachers, probably at a dying little boy.

It's time for your mandatory Miguel Tejada weekly update, folks! Much to dubb's displeasure, Tejada launched his 5th homer of the season on Friday night, and it turns out that he promised a young boy with muscular dystrophy that he would go deep. I've always been a semi-sucker for stories like this, but I'm sure the ejected fan is going to start crafting phony letters from fictional kids with serious illnesses and mail them to Tejada in hopes of winning his $20 bet. I say here's to you Miggy!

So I guess the ejected fan would be upset if I didn't recap the rest of my weekend, being that I went to all 3 Sox games vs. the Devil Rays, and although I probably won't be able to weave a tale as eloquent as HzMLS did, here goes:

Friday Night:

Saturday Night:
Our evening began with HzMLS and I stopping off at a watering hole near Fenway, where I promptly inhaled 2 rather strong (and rather expensive) adult beverages. They would prove to be helpful, as fellow fan EGD2 and myself were sitting in the CVS Family Section, aka the alcohol-free zone. Our particular section was patrolled by none other than Mr. Miyagi, who confiscated beers and roughed up hooligans. Needless to say, we saw many ejected fans. The ejf himself would have been jealous.

After the game, HzMLS and I went to a local karaoke bar that we often frequent to get absolutely top-tier sidewalk-puking obliterated. After a few more beverages, we begin to jot our blog addresses on a karaoke slip or 30, and leave them scattered around the bar. Then, after a riveting performance of a popular rap tune, HzMLS began shouting out "EJECTEDFAN.BLOGSPOT.COM" until the DJ's cut his mic and made us promise to not drive home. Big beats hit streets, see bloggers roamin'...

Sunday Afternoon:
After waking up with a trash can next to my bed and bits of Cracker Jacks stuck to my pants, I prepared for my final trek to America's Most Beloved Ballpark. I put on my alcohol-and-food-stained Red Sox sweatshirt that I had worn to the previous two games and got ready to go. The Sox hoodie was absolutely necessary no matter how dirty it was, because they had won the previous two games when I wore it, and yes, I am that superstitious. I didn't care that I looked incredibly homeless hungover.
The highlight of this game was the ever stereotypical Sox fan about 10 rows in front of us who frequently stood and screamed Let's Go SAWX! amongst other re-taahhhded things. We called him Sully from Quincy, although it could have easily been Smitty from Dorchester or Mikey from Southie.

All-in-all, the Sox are now 5-0 in games I attend, including 3-0 in games all 4 members of the EjF attend. So I assume all you loyal readers will want to take us to a game to ensure a Sox win, so hit us up!!


Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Text received from The Ejected Fan on Sunday when I offered him tickets:

"Can't do it-I am beat and old"

Yup that about says it all...

dubbschism said...

notably missing from this post: the sore neck i incurred via a drunken attack inflicted by EGD2.

SmartyBarrett said...

or the sober attack ms. HzMLS inflicted on HzMLS

"why is mommy hitting daddy?"