Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Ozzie Guillen: Faithful Countryman, Unscrupulous Comedian

as you may or may not know, former Sox spot starter Geremi Gonzalez was struck and killed by lightning while in his home country of Venezuela. he was only 33. not to be insensitive or anything, but i didn't know the guy and he never really did anything to endear himself to Red Sox fans in his short tenure in Boston, so the sadness of the situation is sort of overshadowed by the freakishness of the situation. i mean, if causes of death in Venezuela were like events in a baseball game, getting struck by lightning would be like catcher's interference. (a botched carjacking would be like a groundout to SS, and getting whacked in a State-sponsored American sympathizer eradication would be like a backwards K. choking on a pecan shell would be like a 3-6-2 double play.) it's just not how you'd expect someone in Venezuela to die.

now, for some reason (part of a Venezuelan baseball theme? i really have no idea.) foxsports.com asked uber-crank Ozzie Guillen to weigh in on the tragedy. and Ozzie, never missing an opportunity to be as uncouth as a drunk fat chick who insists on being in a wet t-shirt contest, has this to say: "A lot of people are going to be shocked."

what. a. dick.

one thing a lot of people won't be shocked about is when the White Sox finish in fourth place in the AL Central with a team OBP of .211.

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