Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Ryan Braun, this Bud’s for you! Sox Sweep Brewers: Game 1 of Doubleheader

Game Report, 5/17/08 vs. Milwaukee Brewers
I want to start off by saying thank you to Ryan Braun for an awesome weekend against the Sox and incredible week overall for that matter. Braun helped propel one of my fantasy baseball teams into first place. Last week Braun hit .345 with 6 home runs and 10 RBI. Braun deserves every cent of his newly signed $45 million dollar contract. He was the NL Rookie of the Year last year and recently became the youngest player to reach 40 home runs. Last year he hit 35 homers in just 112 games. Thanks to interleague play, Sox fans got the opportunity to see this phenom perform early in his career. Braun is capable of doing some great things in his career. After the series against the Sox, Braun was quoted as saying that the Brewers did not expect to win in Boston. He also stated that their mental approach to the game needed to improve. An interesting fact that I came across about Braun is that this Brewers' mother is an actual brewer for Budweiser. It’s not Miller but still interesting tidbit.

I have always liked the Brewers. They had some hard nosed teams in the 80’s with the likes of All Stars: Rollie Fingers, Robin Yount, Paul Molitor and Cecil Cooper. They had some cool uniforms in the 80’s and they played in the AL East against the Sox on a regular basis. They have never won a World Series. I am drawn to teams like the Brewers, Nationals (Expos) and Mariners who have yet to win a championship. I was looking forward to this series against the Brew Crew.

Last night got rained out forcing the doubleheader today. It was a beautiful afternoon at America’s most beloved ballpark. dubbschism and Mudville were extremely late to today’s ball game. After Ortiz’s 3 run homer in the second inning, I descended from my standing room spot on top of the Pavilion down 10 ramp levels to Yawkey Way to deliver their tickets. This epic journey to deliver tardy fans their tickets was not a fun experience.

Debbie Downer
The last time I had Pavilion standing room, I was ejected from the ballpark. I am not sure if it is the atmosphere in the section or what, but the fans up here seem to have some serious emotional issues. During the fifth inning, I busted out my handy copy
of Mad Libs. In my search for applicable words, I came across a fan I have named Debbie Downer who was clearly bothered by Mad Libs. She states that she finds Mad Libs annoying. Debate ensues. I ask her “Is it the nouns, verbs, adverbs or adjectives?” She retorts, “Don’t get me started!” I have heard a lot of reactions to Mad Libs, but this was the first person that I discovered who was clearly annoyed. Debbie Downer would later participate in a 40+ year old bizzare circle dance. I found these strange dances and this fan’s attitude annoying.

Pink Shirt Fan
There is a guy who was part of a bachelor party who decided to wear a pink David Ortiz shirt that he is encouraging other fans to scribble on. I overhear him in the beer line that he is not actual the bachelor, but a friend of the bachelor. Basically he is overshadowing the guy who’s bachelor party it is. He makes his introduction to Mudville by kicking a beer cup in her general direction. Mudvilles retorts, "Jesus Fucking Christ." Apparently, he did not expect to elicit this response. Later in the evening I am dared to write I HATE FAGS! on Pink Shirt Fan’s shirt. dubbschism 1-ups me by writing “Felatio is for Virgins” on the guys shirt. Prior to us inscribing upon P.S.F’s shirt, he says "Please, no profanities."

A Foul Ball
About halfway through the game a foul is struck behind home plate in the hotel parking lot behind Van Ness Street under an ancient Chevy Lumina. dubbschism and I decide that after the game we will try to locate this baseball. After the game we locate the Chevy Lumina and there is no baseball to be found. Apparently someone was able to scoop the ball up before we got there. We were under the impression that it would be a difficult find unless you were on the street or in our location looking down on the steet, but that was not the case. I took notes as to the location of the baseball. Looking back my writing appears to be slurred.

Random Observations and Happenings

  • If you buy a program for today’s game, you receive a “Gagne is a Yankee Spy” sticker. Gagne did not play during the entire Red Sox series. This guy should go back on HGH. It doesn’t just make you ugly.
  • In a reference to Brewers pitcher outfielder Corey Hart, dubbschism states, “Ejected Fan wears his sunglasses at night.”

  • There is a dimpled chad on EGD2’s All Star ballot. We are not sure if the 3rd NL Outfielder is Brian Giles or Kosuke Fukudome.

  • Off-Track Betting: We have a bet on who will get the first put out of the inning. I pick Youkilis, dubb picks Jacoby Ellsbury and EGD2 picks Papelbon who is not even in the game. The ball is popped up to Ellsbury. Mudville follows a bird in flight, not the baseball.

  • Rescue 911 at Little Steve’s Pizza: Hungry after the game, we head into Little Steve’s Pizza on Boylston Street. There is a Rescue 911 pinball machine based on the hit show from the 80’s. It includes real sound effects from William Shatner. Eerily, Shatner’s voice bellows “AIDS is Real”. This pinball machine got the most action since 1989.

I apologize for the brevity. There was a scarcity of real blogworthy material. Stay tuned for EjF’s expose on new Sox reporter Heidi Watney. Also stay tuned in late June for our concert series blog on the great American band Pearl Jam.


Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Corey Hart seemed like a good player, but I never knew he was a pitcher!

dubbschism said...

with a name like Hart you can do anything.